THE MESSIAH—PAVLE RUZIN

It was the third day of their fourteen-day long fishing trip when Jeremiah pulled the Pearl out of the waters. 

The sixth of May was a windy but overall pleasant day, which was surprising for that time of the season. Early in the morning, the Sun had risen and found a relatively small, three-person manned fishing boat Anointed Lady snuggled between the waves. Jeremiah was on the deck, stretching and blinking at the waking sun. He had trouble sleeping, ever since the accident involving his daughter happened back on the mainland. Late at night, he would fall asleep, and early in the morning, usually before the sunrise, he would get up, somehow making himself functional with as little sleep as he had. Deciding not to bother his shipmate, Matthew, Jeremiah started pulling the box-shaped traps from the bottom of the ocean. The catch was miserable at best, with barely a few crabs per pot. Next to last was empty, making Jeremiah curse under his breath. Half-heartedly, he started pulling the last one, but when he noticed a shimmer of red when the pot neared the surface, with a burst of energy, Jeremiah pulled the trap to himself, finding... a nearly ruined crab shell. Cursing again, he took the shell, wanting to throw it back into the ocean, but something moved in it. Carefully, Jeremiah turned the shell, finding a small round pearl-like structure in it. Even days later, he didn’t know what to call it; the Thing, the Pearl, the Egg... Whatever it was, it was perfectly round and covered in shifting and seemingly moving shades of dark purple. Depending on the angle, it would sometimes seem completely pitch black or vivid and bright. From the poles of the Pearl, a stone structure sprouted, partly enveloping it with grey vines.

It was the fifth day when the Pearl spoke to Jeremiah. 

Jeremiah was folding the empty fishnets when he felt his name being called out. The hairs on the back of his neck stood still as he slowly turned around, gripping the net with his blue fingers. Manifesting the strength, he called out: “Matt?”

However, no response came. Matthew was in the cabin, fixing the freezer, Jeremiah realised.  Sweating and pondering on what he had just heard, he looked around. There, who-knows-how-many miles from the mainland, the only sounds that could be heard were the waves crashing on the ship and eventual birds cawing at him to throw them the innards of caught fish. Then, Jeremiah’s eyes wandered to the top of the cabinet that was in the cockpit. There, outside of Matt’s reach, a jar was tied and secured with ropes, and in it the Pearl swam, occasionally going up and down. Now it seemed still, somehow fixated on Jeremiah.

After a moment of silence, Jeremiah forced a laugh and shrugged, continuing to fold the fishnets. A thought lingered in his mind but vanished soon enough as he focused on the work.

That day, the eighth of May, was the same as any other. Half of it was filled with numbing work, the other half of Matt and Jeremiah talking, eating, and moving the radio from place to place to reach better stations. The Sun had set as quietly as it had risen, and the two men turned on the lamp at the entrance of the cockpit. Yawning, without a shared word, the men went to bed. The cabin was parted into two rooms; one was a made-shift bedroom with two sets of bunk beds, the other was a freezer room that rhythmically buzzed throughout the night.

However, sleep didn’t come to Jeremiah as easily as it did to Matt. When his body wanted to rest, Jeremiah’s mind went loose, contemplating his decisions and what had happened to his daughter. Usually, he would repeat prayers until his mind would finally give in. That night, however, sleep didn’t come at all. Quietly, Jeremiah stood up and sneaked his way out of the cabin, shivering at the chilly air outside. The ocean of true darkness was around him and the lamp dancing above the cockpit was the only light miles around. Still repeating his litany, Jeremiah came to the cabin and reached for the jar. The pearl was at the bottom, completely black. For a moment, Jeremiah thought about taking it out of the jar and touching it. Even when he had found it, he let it roll from the shell into the jar, which he had later filled with saltwater. Not once had he touched it. Jeremiah wondered if it was of any worth. Touching his cross pendant, Jeremiah continued his litany as he went back to bed, leaving the Pearl in the jar.

The next day, Jeremiah remembered waking in a cold sweat. The sun was already up, but Matt was soundly sleeping. Panting for air, Jeremiah tried to remember what he had dreamt about, but it was to no use. Usually, it was the dream about his daughter, always the same. Probably, it was the same horrifying dream, Jeremiah thought as he got up and changed into working clothes. 

“One! Two! Three...”

The two men pulled the net brimming with fish and dragged it above the large plastic container. Matt pulled on one end, untying the nets and letting the twitching fish fall into the container. 

“Finally, a good catch!”, Matt said, smiling while looking at the container filled to the top with fish. Some even managed to get out of it and fell onto the deck.

“Sure is a blessin’,” Jeremiah said, feeling his cross under the shirt and overalls. “I just hope that damn freezer won’t fail us... again.”

“Nah, it’ll work, old man, don’t you worry.” Matt whistled and started pulling the container towards the cabin. “Mind if you clean things up here while I put these away?”

“Sure, kid. Go ahead.”

Jeremiah let the nets through the water once more and then hand-picked the remaining plastic garbage, seaweed, and whatever else was left in the nets.

Jeremiah...

His muscles froze and he gasped for air. He didn’t hear it as much as he had felt it. But what shook him the most was the dream suddenly coming back to him. He dreamt last night about being alone in the darkness, only seeing his arms and legs and nothing else. He was in a small rowing boat, aimlessly drifting. There wasn’t even water around him, there was just darkness. Jeremiah felt scared and small, burying his head into his knees, afraid to look up at whatever was watching him.

Jeremiah... Look at me! Take me...

“Old man, you good?”, Matt asked, touching Jeremiah’s shoulder. Startling, Jeremiah stepped away, gripping the handrail. He gasped for air, looking at Matt confused. 

“I... I...”

“Maybe you should lie down, old man. Finally get some sleep. I’ll take it from here!”

“No, I’m fine”, Jeremiah said, but Matt made it clear that Jeremiah should head to the cabin to rest.

“I don’t want to have this good day ruined by you falling over the handrail!”, Matt called after his shipmate as Jeremiah wiggled out of his working clothes and laid onto his bed.

“I must destroy that thing”, Jeremiah said into his pillow, still thinking about what had happened. “I must burn it, or, or... or toss it back into the ocean.” Jeremiah prayed again, begging God for help. 

“Yes...”, he realised. He would take it to father John. He would know how to handle the damned Pearl. Father John knew how to handle everything, Jeremiah thought as he fell to sleep, gripping the cross around his neck.

***

The day after, Jeremiah was careful enough not to get himself into any serious work. He had said to Matt that his back ached, but truth be told, he had to be left alone, to think what to do with the Pearl. 

Every time he was near the damned thing, Jeremiah could hear faint buzzing. It didn’t seem to originate from the jar, no, it seemed to be everywhere around him. Then the Pearl would talk, begging him to look at it and take it into his hands. Petrified and worried, and always grasping for his cross when around the Pearl, Jeremiah hoped that Matt couldn’t hear what he was hearing. Fortunately, Matt would be unfazed, and wouldn’t even twitch a muscle.

Jeremiah just hoped they could reach the mainland before he lost control of himself or Matthew started hearing the Pearl.

***

It was the ninth day when Jeremiah woke up standing in the cabin in complete darkness, holding a knife they used to gut fish. He was inches from Matt, who was blissfully snoring in his small bed.

Gasping at the realisation, Jeremiah dropped the knife and started begging God for help. Fortunately, the noise didn’t seem to wake Matt up.

Trying to find his way onto the deck, Jeremiah stumbled on the rising Sun. 

“Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name...”, He suddenly stopped the litany upon seeing his sleeping clothes covered in dried blood. He fell to his knees as the already familiar buzzing started to ring in his ears.

Jeremiah... There is Freedom... With Me... Truth... 

Gritting his teeth, Jeremiah stood up and walked over to the cockpit, reaching for the jar and untying the rope which held it in place.

“Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven!”

Jeremiah threw the jar over the handrail. The Pearl started moving violently in the jar as it flew through the air, bouncing off the glass.

“Oh, thank the Lord!”, Jeremiah uttered as the buzzing stopped in his ears. “Oh merciful God, save us...”

Kneeling, Jeremiah continued praying until his knees ached. Realising he stank of blood, he took off his clothes and sneaked back into the cabin. Making sure that Matt, who was still asleep, was unharmed, Jeremiah grabbed his working clothes and started working.

***

Jeremiah yawned, waking up in a dark room. Confused, he glanced around himself, blinking when the thin line of sunlight reached him. The shutter on the only window was pulled down. Adjusting to the darkness, Jeremiah saw that Matt’s bed was empty. Rushing outside, he stumbled onto the fully illuminated deck. Squinting, he saw Matt setting up a fishnet.

“Jesus, you scared me, old man!”, Matt said, walking towards Jeremiah. “Are you okay?”

“Where, what...,” Jeremiah looked around, holding a hand up to shield his eyes. It was noon. 

“You were out like a log when I woke up, so I didn’t bother you. I knew you could use some sleep, but, jeez, did you scare me...” Upon seeing how Jeremiah frantically looked around, Matt asked: “Are you okay?” 

Jeremiah mumbled something, limping towards the cockpit.

“Jerry? You’re scaring me again...”

“Shit!”

“What?”

“Shit, shit, shit...”

“What the fuck is wrong, man???”

The jar! It was still there, on the cabinet, tied with ropes.

Jeremiah emerged from the cockpit. “I... I need to rest.”

“What the hell, man? What’s wrong?”

Jeremiah waved his hand through the air. “I’m fine. Had a bad dream, is all...”

“Oh... I didn’t know you still had them. Are they... are they about L...”

“Yes. They’re about her!”, Jeremiah cut him off.

“Well, okay then. Listen, take all the time you need...”

“No. I need to work. We need to work. We’ve been slacking off enough as it is.”

“But man...”

“No. Let me just wash up first and change into...” Jeremiah wondered off, staring at his sleeping clothes.

There wasn’t a drop of blood on them.

Jeremiah didn’t dare sleep in the cabin again. When Matt had asked him whether he was going to bed or not, Jeremiah said he had some thinking to do. After a short while, Jeremiah brought a giant sea-smelling rope and tied himself to a mast. He had already prepared a nylon cover to use as a blanket, although he had his jacket on. He pulled the zipper to the top and pressed his cap to his eyes. The sun had settled moments before, but the lone light above the entrance to the cockpit danced, casting light on the lonely deck.

***

Jeremiah woke up in his bed. The room was bathed in sunlight through a giant window his wife had opened. He murmured something, and from the other side of the room someone else spoke: “’ Morning to you, too!”

It felt great being back at home. It was maybe the best thing about his long fishing trips, coming back home to see his wife and daughter waiting for him at the porch. “You’ve grown so much!”, he’d always say to Lisa and kiss her on the forehead. She had her mother’s hair, oily black and curvy.

“We going for a ride today, huh?”, Jeremiah said after taking a sip of coffee. His daughter was excitedly jumping around him, while his wife was in the kitchen.

“Just take care, please, Jerry!”, She said from the kitchen.

Jeremiah grunted in agreement. “Arrr, Matey! ‘Ave ye got yer boots, now, do ye, las?”

Lisa would laugh. Sarah would sigh, loud enough to be heard from the kitchen: “Again an Irish pirate, are we?”

No!

A loud bang woke Jeremiah up. He nearly fell off his bed while trying to get up. He walked out of the cabin, stepping onto the rain. Someone in a bright yellow raincoat was in front of him, with their back towards Jeremiah. Carefully walking around the person and blinking when a drop of rain got into his eyes, Jeremiah realised it was Matthew. He had his hood on so you could only see his nose and lips. He was gutting the fish.

“You stab them in the stomach”, he proceeded to do the same to a fish, “Pull it up, and BANG! You slice their head off!” The head of the fish jumped off the board and landed onto the deck where its blood mixed with rainwater.

“Matt? Are you okay?”

“You stab them in the stomach, pull it up, and BANG! You slice their head off!”

“Matthew! Please! Listen to me!”

“You stab them in the stomach, pull it up, and BANG! You slice their head off!”

Another fish head went flying. Jeremiah realised Matt had gone through all of their catch from the day before. However, Matt continued working with the knife.

“You stab them in the stomach, pull it up, and BANG!” His left index finger went flying through the air, landing on a small pile of fish heads. “You slice their head off!”

***

Jeremiah pulled himself awake. He nearly fell off his bunk bed. Matt, as usual, didn’t notice anything. Jeremiah was covered in a cold sweat. His hands found the cross beneath his shirt. “God, give me strength to make it through the night”, he whispered.

***

Jeremiah woke up. He shifted violently, shaking the little boat he was in. He looked at his palms, but it was too dark to see clearly. He only noticed the silhouettes of his flexing fingers.

Jeremiah. Look at Me. Take Me into your heart. I will show you everything there is.

Jeremiah stopped breathing. The voice was everywhere above him, all he needed to do was to tilt his head up, and he would see... it.

I will show you the meaning. Of everything. Of Me. In the ocean of stars where I live, there is a place for you. Let me show you the meaningless of life. No use to resist me.

Jeremiah cried. He’d never been this afraid before. Struggling to breathe, he curled into a ball in the boat, placing his elbows over his eyes so he wouldn’t see.

A buzzing noise appeared. 

LOOK!

Jeremiah’s eyes glowed purple as he looked up, unable to resist. Above him, as far as his eyes could see, a shadow loomed, constantly shifting and moving. It culminated in a spot directly above Jeremiah, twisting its fleshy mass to make an extremity. Bulging, the extremity, looking like a tendril, extended downwards, coming eerily close to Jeremiah.

My child. Be My messiah. Share Me with others. Like you. So you can prepare...

A small round thing dropped from the limb of purple flesh that stretched to the sky, landing in Jeremiah’s hands. The buzzing intensified and Jeremiah screamed when he noticed that he was holding the Pearl in his hands.

***

Jeremiah woke up. He was panting. Confused, he looked around. He was on the deck of Anointed Lady. Strangely enough, it was too quiet. No waves crushing, no birds cawing at him. Only the faint buzzing. 

Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. 

Jeremiah pulled the nylon blanket off himself and started untying the rope.

Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread...

The rope fell onto the deck. However, Jeremiah lingered for a moment, looking at the giant rope. He pushed it around, scraping it off the wood. However, no sound of scraping reached him. 

And forgive us our...

Jeremiah pulled on the nylon cover. It too didn’t make any sound. At that moment, only his thoughts and his litany could be heard. And the buzzing, gnawing at his brain. Jeremiah touched his ears. There was blood on his fingers.

He slowly stood up. It was still night, but the eastern sky was lighting up as the Sun approached. Jeremiah shivered on the night’s wind. The buzzing. He had to end it.

Limping, he reached the cockpit. His leg hurt. The wound must have opened up. 

I can show you...

“Shut the hell up!”, Jeremiah grabbed the jar, looking at the Pearl in it. It was slowly turning. “Am I awake now? Can I be rid of you?!”

The Pearl stayed still. The buzzing stopped.

“I can show you where your daughter is”, the Pearl said.

Shocked, Jeremiah looked at the jar. He turned his head. There was nobody around. It was still night. It was still cold. But it was silent.

“Merciful God...”, Jeremiah whispered.

“Let me show you. Lisa is waiting”, the Pearl said.

Lingering, Jeremiah stared at the Pearl. It was turning into a bright purple. “Why do you have a human voice?”

The pearl stayed silent.

“WHY DO YOU HAVE HER VOICE?!”

Crying out, Jeremiah threw the jar. He saw it crashing into a million pieces, silently, and the pearl rolling down the deck.

The buzzing returned, strong as ever. Jeremiah fell on his knees, gripping his ears. His hands were bloody. He crawled through the opening into the cabin, but the buzzing didn’t stop. 

“Matt? Matt!!” he called. He didn’t hear his voice. Nor anyone else’s. 

Matt’s bed was empty. The freezer, Jeremiah thought. Limping, he grabbed the handle of the door. He stepped into the freezer room. It was empty and the freezer was open.

As the buzzing reached higher tones, Jeremiah reached the freezer. The sudden smell of rotten fish reached him and he had to fight the urge to throw up.

At the bottom of the freezer, among the fish innards, seven fish’s heads were placed in a circular pattern, all pointing up. Their eyes were white.

Screaming, Jeremiah fell to the floor. When he turned around, he noticed Matt standing in the shadow, looking at him. His mouth opened and he said something, but Jeremiah didn’t hear him.

Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be...

Jeremiah started his litany but the buzzing overwhelmed it. He pushed through the door, limped through the cabin where the beds were, and emerged onto the deck. The sunrise was about to happen and the night stars were slowly retreating. His pants were soaked with blood.

Our Father..., Jeremiah started again, but now he couldn’t even hear his own thoughts.

“My Messiah.”

The buzzing momentarily stopped. Jeremiah turned towards the voice. It was Matt, standing at the entrance of the cabin. However, he was pale, bone-white pale and his eyes were dark purple with a faint smoke rising from them. His forehead was bashed in and there were parts of bones protruding from his scalp, partly covered by his hair. Matthew’s shirt was torn at his chest showing the Pearl rammed into his flesh, surrounded by dry blood. The stone-like vines seemed to have sprouted from the Pearl and were now stretching all over Matt’s body, from neck to his toes. They darkened in colour and now seemed to be pulsating.

Matt moved towards Jeremiah, but he didn’t walk. Matthew’s toes were dragging on the deck as he hovered, slowly moving towards Jeremiah. As he neared Jeremiah, the sky above him darkened as well, snuffing out the faint remaining stars and sunlight, turning it into a never-ending sea of dark purple. When Matt opened his mouth to talk, Jeremiah could hear him.

“It is time. Accept me,” Matt said, his voice synchronising with the buzzing. Matt turned his palms up, showing two small purple Pearls to Jeremiah. “For a fraction of time, you will see the truth, and then your mind will break. But for a fraction of a moment, you will become GOD.”

Jeremiah stepped back, mouthing the words of a prayer, although he couldn’t hear his voice. He reached a handrail. Matthew extended his hand covered in the Pearl’s tendrils. “It is time.” Vines on the poles of the small Pearls started twitching, wanting to burrow into Jeremiah’s skin.

“Father, forgive me”, Jeremiah said voicelessly.

And then hurled himself over the handrail.

***

Jeremiah woke up. Or... Was he ever sleeping? He was on a boat. His boat, Anointed Lady. A piece of wood was jammed in his thigh, protruding from his pants. Lisa was calling for him. Her words were muffled by water.

***

Jeremiah woke up. The coldness of the water slapped him, keeping him awake. Through the twisting and wavering waters, he saw two persons standing on the deck of the ship. As much as the coldness had kept him awake, it had also numbed his legs and feet, making him unable to resist the flow. As his lungs started filling with saltwater, Jeremiah glanced at the bottom, peering into the darkness. He wondered if Lisa was waiting for him. 

 

Todor Ružić lives and studies in Novi Sad, Serbia. He writes short stories and poems under the pen name of Pavle Ruzin. He hopes his writing hobby will sometime turn into a profession.